We keep it PG on there because obviously Instagram doesn’t allow nudity. Yet somehow, people are finding ways to post nudes. I saw plenty of dick pics by the way! And girls with big asses with barely a tinyass thong in between those cheeks.

Not to go off on a tangent here (I lied, I’m about to) but I dream of an alternate universe, a universe that accomodates porn, porn stars, sex workers, sex educators and basically anyone who is involved – businesses and consumers alike. We would have adult versions of everything – from Facebook, to Twitter, to Instagram; even all the channels on TV would be just adult entertainment and a sex ed channel of course. Our malls and restaurants would have funny ‘porn-y’ names. Imagine that. The mainstream entertainment people can have their universe back.

But if it DID actually happen, please believe that A LOT of people would be jumping on board this alternate adult universe.

Because sex sells & everyone loves porn.

Like what you see? Then you know the drill:

Call 1-800-PHONE-SEX

Just saying. If you haven’t followed us, well then I don’t know what to tell you. But not to worry, I’ll be digging up some of our most popular tweets and reposting them here. I doubt anyone scrolls through our Twitter just to look for stuff! So lucky for you, I’ll be dumping it here. ;)

Call 800-PHONE-SEX

Hell yessss, another holiday! Another excuse to get really wasted & have sex! So call a hot girl at 1-800-PHONESEX, we’re waiting for you, you dirty old man!

Spanish translation: así que llame a una chica caliente al 1-800-PHONESEX, estamos esperando para usted, viejo verde! ;)

Call 1-800-PHONE-SEX